'Sharknado 3' makes me feel bad

     

       I just survived ‘Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!’.  Now, I have the reputation of being a contrarian as well as having dubious taste in movies. In high school I would make my friends suffer through Italian horror films, trying to convince them they were art. I honestly enjoy ‘Congo’, ‘Krull’ and ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’. I always appreciate filmmakers who try to make good movies and end up making poo-poo. There’s nobility in their failure. There’s nothing noble in ‘Sharknado 3’.

            I get the joke. The whole thing is a joke. I get it. But how about trying to make something with a plot. Some semblance of a plot is all I ask. It doesn’t have to be good or make a lot of sense. ‘Sharknado 3’ is only interesting as a scavenger hunt to identify all of the celebrity cameos. The SyFy Channel is going to run this cheap to produce, one joke monstrosity into the ground. With part four imminent, what else is left to see? Will we meet an intelligent shark scientist that’s behind all the storms? Is it Cobra’s weather dominator, run amuck again? Is there anything really behind the storms or is it global warming? Have I already spent more time coming up with plot ideas than the producers and writers? I can only speculate the answer is “yes”.

            For some reason I feel bad for Roger Corman. He’s had a great career. He’s spawned lots of successful writers, directors and producers. He’s still churning out his level of cheap to produce monster movies. I’m sure the superior ‘Sharktopus’ is doing well for him. I wish if any one had reaped the reward for hastily produced monster-schlock, it had been him.

 Creative moviemakers are working hard everyday, putting in time and money, trying to get their films seen. They don’t use CGI and they don’t have D-list celebrities. They’re limited by talent sometimes and almost always by budget, but they do the best they can to make the best film they can. And yet, they almost never get the publicity or viewership that ‘Sharknado’ receives. I love genre films of all kinds. It’s great that SyFy gives them a platform to be seen. But holy shit, how about you up the effort a little bit. That’s all I ask.

Now I’m off to watch ‘Nightmare City’ to get this rotten shark taste outta my mouth!