True Detective Season 2: Better than You've Heard

Season 2 of True Detective is over. So what have we learned? Ben Casper’s killing was mostly a McGuffin. Colin Farrell probably should’ve kept the mustache. Vince Vaughn is a good vengeance-seeking gangster. John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) should check his corners during a gunfight and Rachel McAdams’ Ani Bezzerides likes knives, she really likes knives.

If you read the Internet, you would think season 2 was worse than an abomination. Was it really that bad? I enjoyed it. It was True Detective. It was dark, gritty and dark, just like the source material the seasons are based on. Sure some of the dialogue was a little too over the top. Frank Semyon’s gangster speak was a little bit much, but was it any worse than Matthew McConaughey’s Det. Rust Cohle and his rambling philosophical rants, no, not really.

This season delivered on some amazing shootouts. And while the mystery of “who done it” this season wasn’t as big a deal in the end, it was still an interesting web of corruption. Anthologies are always hit and miss. There are always stories that are great, some that are okay and others that just don’t work. Season 2 of True Detective was good, not great. But not everything can be great. Sometime good is enough.

Portlandia Rules: Portland vs. The Icebreaker

            Portland, Oregon citizens turned out this morning to watch the high drama as Greenpeace activists dangled from the St. Johns Bridge to stop a Shell icebreaker from traveling up the Willamette River. With bridge access blocked and traffic around the area snarled, KGW8, the local NBC affiliate was on the case. The hilarious news team has been stumbling and bumbling to cover the action. Like something out of Anchorman, they've asked ridiculous questions paired with endless speculation. The best part so far has been the footage from the river of the gathered masses, celebrating a small victory. I believe the man in the photo below leads them:

The protesters have forced the ship back to the dock. For the moment they have secured a small victory. I will continue to monitor for more hilarious happenings.

The Cycle Begins Anew: 2015 Washington Redskins

The ultimate symbol of Redskins ineptness.

            The saying “Hope Springs Eternal” sums up the thoughts of every Washington Redskins fan. Never mind the racist name and the idiot owner, we ALWAYS expect the next season to be the big one. Today the Redskins report to training camp and the cycle starts anew. Last night I watched ‘2014 Washington Redskins: Executive Decision’. It was their 2014 NFL Films highlight show. I was curious, what are the highlights of a team that goes 4-12? It turns out, there aren’t many, because most of the show is filled with the hiring of Scot McCloughan. He was hired after the 2014 season.

            So the best thing that happened for Washington in 2014 was hiring a new General Manager after the season. Sadly, I agree. Unfortunately, stupid hope springs eternal again. Just like Michael Corleone, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in”. McCloughan has a good track record. He’s helped rebuild the San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks. He’s gone about this off-season in a smart and reasonable manner.

            But this is the Redskins, where “winning off the field” is the priority. Upper management (I’m looking at you Bruce Allen and Dan Snyder) will ruin it. The team should change their name to the Ruiners, because that’s what they do. They ruin the Fall, they ruin Sundays and they ruin my life. Well, maybe not my life.

            If they have a crazy good season I’ll lose my mind. I’ll go back to the Commonwealth and bask in the amazingness with my pals. But what are the chances of that happening? It’s more likely they’ll be seven games under .500 by Thanksgiving and I’ll find other things to do on Sundays.

Why are people hunting Lions in 2015?

             Why are people hunting lions in 2015? It’s not 19^th century, where the “Great White Hunter” would kill big game so the rest of the world could see the monsters of the Dark Continent. Stephen Hawking is busy warning us about the dangers of Artificial Intelligence and the Terminator and we’re still-hunting big game? Are lions rampaging and killing railroad workers like the Tsavo Man-Eaters? 

No, Cecil the lion was just being a lion, relaxing, maybe running, just existing. Unfortunately for him a cosmetic dentist from Bloomington, Minnesota with more money than sense decided Cecil would be his next trophy.

            Walter Palmer, our new great white hunter, loves to kill stuff. He LOVES it! You can find lots of pictures of him posing with his kills. His killing of Cecil is particularly tough to read because he lured him from the protected area he lived in, shot him with an arrow, and then tracked him for 40 hours before finishing him with a gun. Cecil was skinned and beheaded, his remains left behind.

            I understand hunting and it’s merits. I come from a family of hunters. I don’t have a problem with hunting as a means of population control. The people in my family that hunt use all parts of the animal and don’t kill indiscriminately. Hunting a lion is just unnecessary.  Especially when you lure it out of a protected wildlife park. And it’s not just lions; hunting elephants, leopards, tigers or rhinos is just as idiotic. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that rhino horn won’t help give you boners.

            I’m not sure what anyone can do with this guy. The most troubling thing is that he has a history of illegal hunting tactics. He’s been pinched several times in the past for sketchy bear hunting. He’s been fined and put on probation and he still hasn’t learned his lesson. Or maybe he has, he’s just taken his act overseas. Maybe we should give him back to Zimbabwe. I bet they can convince him to change his ways.

Killing a Killer

I hope you've heard of Neal Falls. He's the alleged serial killer who got gunned down this month. Despite having the weakest chin in America, he looks like a normal guy. He's suspected in a number of disappearances from coast to coast. I say suspected, but they found axes, knives, handcuffs, a shovel, bleach and other killer kit items in the trunk of his car. He also had a list of ladies in his pocket that he was either a big fan of, or planning to visit and then murder on his East Coast vacation. He lived most recently in Oregon, which seems to be the spawning ground for serial murderers. His interests, like many serial killers, were prostitutes.

The best part of his story is that his last potential victim turned the tables on him and blasted him into oblivion. She suffered broken vertebrae, a separated shoulder and had strangulation injuries. Despite all of these injuries, she was able to be grab his gun and end his serial killer ways. Unfortunately, too many news outlets are calling her "sex worker". I don’t think the news is giving her the respect she deserves. Sex worker might be her occupation, but "hero" is a more appropriate title in my opinion. And besides, sex worker is so harsh. What happened to “lady of the evening”? At least there’s an air of mystery to that. 

I’ve seen a couple of places have started to call her “Heather”. Protecting her anonymity is fine, but let’s give her a little credit for taking care of a problem. She killed a killer. She deserves our gratitude and possibly a reward. At least an Olive Garden gift card.