Black Angel Found in Archive

So I like to think I know stuff, about movies anyway. So it's always fun when I run across some new tidbit of forgotten movie history. I guess back when The Empire Strikes Back was released, it was paired with a short film to run before it. It ran before Empire only in Europe and Australia. I don't know why we didn't get to see it here in the U.S. It was called Black Angel and it was about a knight returning from the Crusades, who stumbles into a dark fantasy adventure. The movie was feared lost after it's theatrical run, until some archivist found a negative of it in the Universal Studios vaults. So hopefully in the near future this little gem will find it's way onto Blu-Ray or Netflix. YouTube has a couple short clips that give you an idea of the tone of the movie. It's got an Excalibur feel to it, which is pretty awesome.

I Guess I Like Cover Bands

When I say cover bands, what comes to mind? A bunch of guys, banging around with guitars and drums, trying to recreate some classic rock sound, I’d bet. Now while I’m sure there are some really bad cover bands out there, I want to talk about some good ones I’ve seen lately. Now, to be honest, I’m not a huge concert guy. I don’t really dance and I don’t like the crowds. I usually end up watching people and making fun of their concert antics. My fiancée likes to go out and do stuff and so she’s been dragging me out of my cave to do things I wouldn’t usually try. So a couple of weeks ago, I found myself walking into the State Theater in Falls Church, Virginia to see a Queen cover band. I like Queen. I have their Flash Gordon soundtrack, on record, which I got when I was a lad. Who doesn’t enjoy the Highlander soundtrack? I like all of their hits. I didn’t expect much, but I’m a good sport, so off to see Almost Queen (www.almostqueen.com) I went. And you know what, they were really, really good. I mean really good. They looked like Queen. They played like Queen. It was impressive. The guy that portrayed Freddie Mercury was tremendous. They didn’t play any songs from Highlander, but maybe when I see them AGAIN in a few weeks they’ll break off a little “Princes of the Universe” for me.

My cover band experience doesn’t end there though. Once again, here we go back to the State Theater, this time it’s a twofer, Almost Journey and 2U (www.notU2.com). Now I’m not a huge fan of U2, they’re okay; I can take them or leave them. I like some Journey songs, but probably not enough to go to a Journey show. BUT, being a good guy, I put on a smile and went along for the fun. And leave it to these guys to really turn me around. When I got to the theater, I was a little disappointed that 2U had another cover band opening for them. But little did I realize the amazing gimmick I was about to behold. Spoiler Alert: 2U and Almost Journey was the same band! It was hilarious and really, really good. Bono was Steve Perry! The Edge was Neal Schon! The drummer was not only the drummer for Almost Journey and 2U, but also for Almost Queen. The bass player made time during songs for dramatic rock poses for picture takers. The lead singer did a great job as both singers. So much so that a frenzied older lady slipped her phone number to him. It was a super fun show. They played all the hits and some deep cuts. If you get a chance to see any of these bands, you should check them out. It’s a lot cheaper than seeing the real thing and I’m sure just as much fun.

Reboot-A-Palooza

Everybody loves superhero TV shows these days. You’ve got Arrow and maybe The Flash on the CW, Agents of Shield on ABC and soon the Marvel Universe moves onto Netflix. So NBC thought to them selves “Hey, we were ahead of the curve on this whole superhero thing. Why don’t we dust off that old Heroes show and get a piece of this nerd audience?”

First off, Heroes was a piece of garbage, it just was. The Cape was better; if anybody remembers that, why not redo that one. So of course the Internet has exploded. Everywhere you turn people are whining about rebooting Heroes and not Firefly or something else they deem more deserving. Of course, now lists of shows that should be redone are popping up everywhere. Not to be outdone, I’ll jump onboard the hack express and give you my own list of shows that deserve the Lazarus treatment. I’m sure this list will look a little different than most though.

10. Small Wonder: This wouldn’t be a reboot, but a continuation of Vicki and her brother as she attempts to adjust in an ever-changing modern world, despite still being a little girl robot. With her parents now dead, it’s just Vicki and her odd, now adult brother. He has become a serial killer and uses Vicki to aid in luring in his victims. This version is just a little bit darker than the original. Hilarity ensues.

9. B.J. and the Bear: The story of a crime fighting long haul trucker and his chimp sidekick, this will be a reboot as B.J. travels the roads of a devastated U.S. after an inevitable nuclear holocaust has destroyed the country. B.J. and the Bear will bring much needed supplies to survivors, battle mutants and find love and laughs along the irradiated highways of America. Hilarity will ensue.

8. Street Hawk: If you want a superhero show NBC, buy the rights to this from ABC. Just a man fighting crime on his tricked out super motorcycle. He rides through the darkness to save YOU from the mindless violence of the city. Hilarity ensues.

7. Dukes of Hazzard: A continuation of sorts, Bo and Luke return to Hazzard County after a successful run in NASCAR. Ready to settle back into the simple country life, they are shocked to find Hazard has become a cesspool of drugs, prostitution and crime. Their “cousins” Coy and Vance have assumed control of Hazzard and rule with iron fists. Daisy is now a prostitute, Uncle Jessie is dead and Cooter works in the Wal-Mart automotive department. The series will follow Bo and Luke as they attempt to wrest control of Hazzard away from Coy and Vance. Hilarity ensues. (All credit to Brian Cousins for this one.)

6. Carnivale: Holy fuck HBO, how about you finish the show. You cancelled it after a cliffhanger and didn’t even let them make a movie to wrap it up. Keep running True Blood into the ground, but don’t bring any closure to Carnivale! How about you give ANOTHER show to Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant! Rant over, hilarity ensues.

5. Firefly: Okay, I might as well put this one on here. Firefly was a fun show that FOX gave ZERO chance too. They didn’t even bother to show it in the correct order. Nathan Fillion is ratings gold (see Castle) and yet he couldn’t save the day. Friday night is well known to be the spot that FOX puts shows to die. I wish they would move DADS into that spot. Somehow, Seth McFarlane’s show DADS is still on the air. It has to be the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Oh well. Let the hilarity ensue.

4. Sledge Hammer: This show’s run ended with a nuclear bomb detonating and destroying everything. The obvious next season would have followed Sledge as he brought hilarious order back to the city. For a half hour sitcom, ABC would’ve been way ahead of the creative curve if they had kept this series going. You would have had tons of jokes about radiation sickness and birth defects. The hilarity would ensue.

3. ALF: That crazy alien from Melmac is back and this time he’s a surgeon. Through a crazy series of events, ALF finds himself being named head surgeon of a metropolitan hospital. What kind of shenanigans will occur as ALF tries to keep his identity as an alien secret and keep people alive? Hilarity ensues.

2. T.J. Hooker: First, we clone Bill Shatner, accelerate his growth in a tube and fill him with all accumulated Shatner knowledge. Next, we find Adrian Zmed, wherever he is, and bring him back as an older Vince Romano. This time he’s the older officer, breaking in the “cloned” rookie T.J. Hooker. We would play off Romano’s wariness of working with a cloned partner. He’d say things like “You’ll never match up to the real Hooker” and “Somewhere, Hooker’s rolling over in his grave.” Of course the real William Shatner will be cast as the original, now having gone insane from so much pent up anger and intensity. He will be the show’s main bad guy. Hilarity will ensue.

1. Manimal: He's a guy that turns into animals and solves crimes. This show writes itself. Hilarity ensues.

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Bahn Mi and Me

So I’m what you would call a picky eater. I like the ordinary, boring menu of hamburgers, pizza, tacos, you know, healthy stuff. So imagine my horror when I was taken to eat Vietnamese Bahn Mi sandwiches. Now I’m a good sport, I’ll go along with just about anything. And usually I can find something to eat anywhere. So as we pulled into the Eden Center in Falls Church, VA, I was a bit apprehensive. We found our way into the Song Que Deli http://songquedeli.com and I was greeted by a variety of new food items. I’m sure they saw my naïve whiteness from a mile away as I attempted to identify what I was seeing. My fiancée and the crew I was with were very patient with me as I pointed at things and said, “What’s that?” and “is that edible.” I was introduced to Jackfruit and Durian shakes (although none of us had the balls to try one of those, yet), and crazy shakes with bubbles. My cohorts ordered Vietnamese coffees hand over fist, savoring the sweet caffeinated flavors. I surveyed the menu and found a Bahn Mi sandwich I thought I would enjoy, Bahn Mi Xiu Mai, #4, or Vietnamese Meat Ball. 

The sandwich comes in the best crusty sub roll I think I’ve ever had. The bread alone was worth the trip. It’s a pretty simple sandwich. Meatballs, pickled veggies, jalapeños and onions were loaded inside the roll. Now, I might have picked off all of the veggies and enjoyed just a meatball sub. The vegetables did leave a nice flavor that I enjoyed without having to deal with my strange vegetable texture aversion. The whole experience was a lot of fun and I’m going to make sure I go back so I can try everything, because unfortunately, Song Que will only be around until October, in its current state. So I have to find time to try a coffee or a shake with bubbles, or the feared Durian shake. So make sure you check Song Que out and maybe it’ll stay around past October.

Dress for Success

It's time for me to admit something, I'm a bit of a fashion nerd when it comes to sports uniforms. There I said it. I know it's a little silly, but I really enjoy seeing teams try out new uniforms. When the Washington Redskins went back to wearing the gold Ronald McDonald pants I was super excited. When the Washington Nationals wear Montreal Expos gear or the throwback Homestead Grays it's amazing. The Washington Wizards(It's really time to change the name back to the Bullets) and Capitals returning to the red, white and blue scheme was also a great decision. I have a plaque on my wall celebrating Redskins uniforms over the years, so I'm in deep.

So today the Tampa Buccaneers introduced new uniforms, and they look pretty good.

They have a nice futuristic look. Look at the numbers, very computer graphic like. When I was a kid, I was stupid and thought that all the NFL players were really robots. Now, the Bucs are step closer to making that a reality. A lot of people are already talking about how terrible they are, but they're a lot better than they've had before. The Buccaneers have come a long way from their first creamsicle uniform designs.

The great Doug Williams

We'll see if any other teams decide to do something with their uniforms. I'm talking to you Cleveland Browns.

Snow More

So tomorrow we're actually supposed to get some snow in the D.C. area. For anyone who doesn't live here, or doesn't understand the hysteria, here are some reasons:

1. This area is populated by idiots that have trouble driving in bright sunlight, so snow is their worst nightmare.

2. Our local governments put absolutely no importance on snow management or removal. Why would they? We get measurable snow storms every four or five years, so it's no big deal.

3. People love drama. The snow gives people stuff to complain about and whine about. Either people complain about the schools not being cancelled or gripe about how wimpy the school systems are for closing. Both parties are ridiculous.

I've had enough of the snow this winter, but it hasn't been bad. It could've be much, much worse.

I was promised Neck Chops!!

Non-Stop is the newest ass kicking, neck chopping epic from Liam Neeson. Now I loved Taken, I thought it was a great little action movie. Sure it had lots of problems, but it was fun. So when I tell you that Non-Stop was a stink bomb, you should understand that I gave it every chance. Why is it so bad? It's so heavy handed with it's message. Yes, it has a ridiculous message. Liam Neeson's character is an air marshall with so much emotional baggage it must have cost him plenty to get it all on board (Did you see what I did there? You're welcome). He has to navigate through a plane full of stereotypical folks, who may or may not be the "sinister texter". Of course, no one is what they seem and red herrings abound, but you'll probably figure out who the "sinister texter" is pretty quickly. Julianne Moore is in this for some reason. She is basically Liam Neeson's Gal Friday, a spunky fellow passenger, with her own personal struggle, that helps our flawed hero, blah, blah blah, you get it. The worst, most egregious problem with Non-Stop is the lack of neck chopping. I was promised neck chopping! I think I counted one! Only one neck chop! Ridiculous!
So in summation, Non-Stop is silly, makes no sense if you spend anytime thinking about it, lacks any redeeming nudity and suffers from lack of neck chops. *PASS IT UP*